Maxing and Relaxing...

Some people get to max and relax all day when we get a snow day. I get to trudge through the snow for hours so that Zigzag can locate an appropriate place to take a dump. Needless to say, I worked up an appetite.

Charlene and I agreed that today would be a detox day. In other words, she wants to juice for all of our meals. She just blended me a concoction in our Nutri-Ninja and it doesn't look like anything nice. She recently read about the benefits of parsley and cilantro. They're supposed to be high in Vitamin A, ,K, Folate, and Iron. As such, both ingredients made a debut in my thick, green, sludge-like lunch this afternoon. The first swig of it triggered my gag relax a little bit. I had to involuntarily shake my head back and forth a few times too. Charlene was like, "You don't like it?"

"I'm just adjusting to the new flavors," I carefully replied. "And, I'm not used to this  consistency."

"Well, I think it's delicious," she said. "And it's so good for you and really high in fiber!"

It took some strength of will, but I was able to slowly finish it off. Charlene high-fived me for the accomplishment. Now we're going to have a pizza.

Morning Disappointment

Meteorologist Dave Curren from News 12 New Jersey was right. The storm did not deliver. Now I question the credibility of Lee Goldberg and Jeff Smith. How could they be so wrong? I always wonder if the big networks are being paid by the Home Depot and Lowe's and the supermarkets to create a weather frenzy so people go out and spend all their money on supplies. But clearly Dave Curren can't be bought. He tells you the weather the way it is.

Storm of the Century Day 2

It's part one of this potential historical blizzard. I've been sitting my fat ass on the couch most of the day glued to Weather on the Ones on News 12 New Jersey. What gets me is that it's actually on Comcast channel 62.

Meteorologist Dave Curren disappointed me when he scaled back the snowfall totals. I was looking forward to waking up in the morning and opening the front door to a wall of snow. So, I changed the channel to Eyewitness News to see what Lee Goldberg and Jeff Smith think. I'm happy to report that they still believe it's possible we get over 2 feet of snow. 

Charlene just came over and poured a handful of chocolate chips in my hand. She had them handy because she had been making homemade granola bar batter for us. Whatever chocolate chips she doesn't eat while she's prepping usually ends up in the mix. Sometimes she shares them with me because she wants me to be at least equally as fat as her.   

Storm of the Century...

The Storm of the Century is bearing down us. I'm sitting here watching the weather while simultaneously stuffing my fat face full of Mochi ice cream balls that Charlene bought me at Trader Joe's. Charlene is in the bedroom cleaning cat vomit up off the dresser. The barf particles were widespread. They also got on my flashy Invicta dress watch and on one of my wool winter socks. Charlene thinks it's hilarious when her cat, Thurston Howell, or "Thursty", for short,  upchucks on my stuff. It happens a lot. And, he always heaves in threes and on things that are hard to clean. I told her we were going to have to bring him back to the dumpster where we found him. But, I know that I'd be going back to the dumpster I came from before he ever did.

According to meteorologist Jeff Smith from Channel 7 Eyewitness News, we might be getting as much as two feet of snow over here at the Jersey Shore. I think we'll be okay because, all throughout the week, Charlene has been stockpiling Cheese-Its. Every time she leaves the condo, she comes back with another family-sized box of them. She says she keeps buying them because they're on sale -- but I think she's trying to have more Cheese-Its in thee house than I can eat so that she doesn't come home to an empty box.

Okay. I might have earned a reputation for raiding the snack cabinet in a bad way when I'm home alone. But, that's not who I am anymore...